‘No, no! The adventures first,’ said the Gryphon in an impatient tone: ‘explanations take such a dreadful time.’ — alice’s adventures in wonderland
I made an inspiration board this week. it’s a lot of things that I want to focus on next year—planes, paris and perpetual openness. I didn’t get it right the first time, or the second, or the third. I rearranged it a lot. added and subtracted photos, thought about which quotes or phrases would be most important to me.
but, eventually, I got something that I like. the pieces fit, sort of, finally.
getting abroad has been a similar process. the first two, three and four plans fell through. not enough money, or I wasn’t qualified for the program, or it would interfere with my job. in my mind, I had to have everything perfectly planned out before taking a leap.
back in dc, I had a nice apartment and great people in my life and a good job.
then, a funny thing happened. my good job left me. I cried. I wrung my hands about how I’d pay my bills. what would I do next?
paris. yes, paris is what I’d do next.
for maybe only the second time ever in life, I didn’t give myself time for explanations—adventures came first. I shipped my car back to texas, found someone to move into my apartment and trusted that most things would fall into place.
shockingly, they, for the most part, have. I’ll be landing in france in about six weeks, bound for a cute, little suburb north of paris for three months. from there, I’m hoping to hit up some other european cities for a few weeks before (sufficient funds pending) spending time in morocco.
this not having a set in stone plan thing is big for me. huge. ginormous. enormously monumentally large. I’m normally one of those anal people who meticulously plans out their lives. I’ve always been that way. from an early age, I felt that the entire weight of my future happiness rested on successfully reaching the next rung of a prescribed life ladder—you know, ace high school so that you’ll get into a good college, bust your ass at your internships to ensure you’ll get a good job, and on and on and on it goes. until it doesn’t.
that ladder thing is an imaginary concept, for one. there are no guarantees or surefire bets. life’s a big ass gamble and playing by someone else’s rules does not happiness make.
these days, I’m trying something different. being a little more spontaneous, not worrying quite as much. trusting that my good sense will be all I really need to keep me safe and fed.
I don’t have a five-year plan, let alone a 10-year plan. I’m 28, super-single, jobless and pretty broke, but I’ve never been more excited about my future.
so, I’m going. I’m nervous. I’m hopeful. I’m trying not to romanticize what my life will be like too much. it’ll be cold and I don’t know the language (more on that later) and I hear the toilet paper is weird. but, I’m going.
blogger’s note: this a new blog, but still a continuation of my other blogging exploits. I’m not sure if I’ll keep updating the old blog and keep this just for travel or what. but, fair warning, there will probably be more than just travel-y stuff here.